Potter and The Savior's Denial
by Dracodoodle
Summary: After everything he's been through, Potter deserves to blow off a little steam. If he chooses copious amounts of alcohol and shagging to do so, that's none of Draco's business. Through a series of drunken encounters, Draco gets involved with Potter in ways he never anticipated. But what will he do when he finds himself in too deep? HP/DM, warnings inside
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot. The Harry Potter universe and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately not me.

 **Warnings:** This will contain potentially distressing themes including PTSD, alcoholism, and suicide ideation. Slash and smut in future chapters.

 **A/N:** This story is loosely based on past experiences. It is intentionally written from Draco's POV as someone's observations of another's mental illness. PTSD and other mental illnesses are different for everyone so this is just my take on how the war could have affect Harry. It is not written to offend anyone. The first five-ish chapters are written but after that I haven't fully planned it out. Let me know what you think!

 **Chapter 1**

Draco Malfoy stood leaning against the wall in the fairly packed 8th Year Common Room, sipping his glass of Ogden's Old. It was Halloween night, and the students now known as the 8th Years were holding yet another "bonding" party. After the war ended, those in Draco's year who had returned to Hogwarts to finish their education were all housed together. They were encouraged to make amends with old rivals and set an example of interhouse cooperation for the younger students. Initially Draco had scoffed at McGonagall's urging, especially once he realized he was the only Slytherin from his year returning. He didn't think there was any way that any of his fellow students would ever forgive him and be able to move on. Draco had been pleasantly surprised to be instantly forgiven when, after he spent the first week of the term avoiding contact with anyone and everyone, he decided to personally apologize to many of the others for his past behavior. As it turned out, everyone was eager to have a year of peace after all of the fighting many of them had been a part of during the war. It had been quite a big adjustment for Draco to suddenly be friends with those he had tormented for the past several years, but he found that he much preferred it.

"Knut for your thoughts," came a voice very near Draco's left ear. He jumped slightly and turned to see who had joined him. He was surprised to see none other than Harry Potter standing next to him. Out of all of the Gryffindors that had returned, Potter was the one with whom he had the least contact. He was actually fairly close to some of his old housemates, Granger and Longbottom in particular, but Potter wasn't around a whole lot these days. If the rumors were to be believed, it was because he was often off shagging anyone who showed interest, male or female. As a general rule, Draco tried not to believe the gossip, but in this case, he shared a dorm with the man in question and knew there was at least some truth to the stories. Draco found this approach to coping with the horrors the other man had been through a bit reprehensible but who was he to judge?

"Just contemplating how much longer I can stomach watching Weasley try and snog Granger's face off," Draco responded drily.

Potter threw his head back and let out a deep, genuine laugh. "I know the feeling. Try being their best mate. Although, do you know what I've found helps?" he asked with a gleam in his eye.

"What?"

"Finding someone to snog as a distraction," Potter all but purred, trailing his index finger down the center of Draco's chest suggestively.

Draco managed to control his body's inclination to react to the other man's touch. He could admit that Potter was an attractive man and Draco had known that he himself was gay since the age of 13, but that did not mean he had any interest in becoming yet another notch in Potter's already quite impressive bedpost. "Very funny, Potter," he answered with an eye roll.

Potter chuckled but took a step back, taking the hint that Draco wasn't interested. Draco expected him to move on to someone else in hopes of finding someone to shag, but instead he offered to grab Draco a refill and then started a conversation about Quidditch. Twenty minutes later, Draco was surprised to realize he actually enjoyed talking with Potter. It was the longest conversation he had ever had with the other man and found, when he wasn't being obnoxious to get into someone's pants, he was actually fairly interesting. Before he knew it, he had consumed another glass of firewhisky, and he was on his way to being utterly pissed.

"Let me go fetch you another refill, mate," Potter offered with a wide smile.

Draco returned the smile and surveyed the party. At this point in the night, most everyone was drunk and many of them were paired off and snogging someone. "You two seem to be getting on well," Hermione commented as she approached.

"Finally decided to come up for air, did you?" Draco retorted with a smirk.

Hermione giggled, obviously quite drunk herself. "Oh, hush. We've been building up to this our entire Hogwarts careers. We deserve some time to just enjoy each other."

"Fair enough. I would just prefer not to witness it," Draco teased.

Hermione smiled. "Point taken, but back to you. You and Harry seem to be getting on," she repeated.

Draco shrugged in response. "Yeah, I guess we are. This is the longest conversation we've ever had. I guess he's not so bad when he finds the time to have a conversation as opposed to hitting on everything with a pulse," he observed.

"Do I sense a little jealousy in those words?" she asked with a playful smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You have clearly had a little too much to drink."

"You are probably right. Mostly wishful thinking, I guess. I'd like to see Harry slow down a bit, maybe find himself a steady partner. Who better to tame Harry Potter than Draco Malfoy himself?" Hermione mused, almost to herself.

Draco was saved from answering when Potter returned with his refill. "Here you go, Draco. Hey, Hermione," he greeted.

Hermione returned the greeting before bidding both of them goodnight. Draco considered following suit until Potter engaged him once again in conversation. This time by asking Draco how his latest potions experiment was going. One thing led to another until it was nearly three in the morning, and they were the only two left in the common room. Draco was enjoying the conversation but couldn't stifle a yawn. "It's probably about time we head to bed, don't you think?" he suggested somewhat reluctantly.

"One more drink," Potter countered.

Draco hesitated. He really was quite knackered, but Potter was looking at him with such a hopeful expression he couldn't say no. He blamed the copious amounts of firewhisky he had already consumed. "Alright, fine. One more drink," he acquiesced.

Potter shot him a dazzling smile and squeezed his leg briefly, just above his knee. Draco attempted to ignore the tingling in his thigh left by Potter's touch. "Here you are," Potter announced, handing Draco another drink, his fingers briefly brushing against Draco's. Draco immediately took a large sip of the drink in an attempt to hide the fact that he had almost dropped his drink after the contact.

Draco became acutely aware of how close Potter was sitting to him. He could have sworn that he wasn't sitting that close before he got up to get the refills. "So, Draco, rumor has it you're as bent as I am. When did you know?" Potter inquired, leaning almost imperceptibly closer.

"Rumor has it that you're not all that bent," Draco joked.

Potter gave him a small smile. "Touché. I prefer blokes, but I can definitely appreciate the female form as well. But seriously, how'd you know?"

"It was 3rd Year. Pansy obviously fancied me and finally convinced me to take her on a proper date. I didn't want to go, but I thought maybe it was just because it was Pansy. I took her out in Hogsmeade and accidentally dropped my napkin. There was this really fit waiter walking by who stopped to pick it up for me as I also bent to pick it up. His perfect arse was just inches from my face, and I just knew. I had never felt anything remotely _stirring_ while looking at Pansy's tits, but that bloke's arse was another story," Draco confessed, a dreamy look on his face at the memory.

Potter shook his head, clearly amused. "You wanna know how I knew that I liked blokes?" he asked. Draco nodded. "It was you," Potter said matter-of-factly, intense, green eyes meeting Draco's levelly.

Draco choked on his sip of firewhisky. "What?!"

Potter smirked, clearly proud of the reaction he had elicited. "It was you. It was during 6th Year when I was following you everywhere. You were in the Prefect's bathroom, getting ready to take a bath. I had to make sure you weren't up to anything other than bathing, of course. You took off your robes and then your shirt, and I found I couldn't look away. I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't bring myself to. I did end up coming to my senses before you were completely naked, but that moment stuck in my head for a long time."

Draco gaped at the raven haired man in front of him, completely at a loss for words. Even if he had come up with something to say, he wouldn't have been able to get the words out as Potter's mouth covered his. Alarm bells were ringing in Draco's head, reminding him that he didn't think this was a great idea, but he couldn't help himself. Between the good conversation, the surprising revelation from Potter, and the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed, Draco's resolve was completely gone. Draco returned the kiss enthusiastically pushing Potter onto his back and settling himself on top. Potter moaned under him, opening his mouth for Draco's tongue to explore. Their tongues battled for dominance as Potter slid his hands down Draco's back to his arse, kneading gently. It was Draco's turn to moan as the motion pulled his burgeoning erection down onto Potter's.

The pair remained in their passionate embrace for several minutes. They broke apart briefly for air, and just as Draco was about to re-initiate the kiss, there were footsteps on the stairs. Draco pushed himself off of Potter and to the other side of the couch as quickly as possible, scolding himself for getting so caught up. Hermione appeared at the bottom of the stairs a moment later. "Oh, hello," she said, clearly surprised to see them still up.

Draco mumbled a greeting. "Well, Potter, it's been fun, but it's about time for me to turn in for the night. Good night," he excused himself with a nod at Hermione and Potter, making sure not to make eye contact with either. What had he been thinking, snogging Potter like that? Potter was an obnoxious wanker, and Draco could clearly do better. He would simply chalk this up to being pissed and make sure it didn't ever happen again, even if he had enjoyed the kiss immensely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot. The Harry Potter universe and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately not me.

 **Warnings:** This will contain potentially distressing themes including PTSD, alcoholism, and suicide ideation. Slash and smut in future chapters.

 **Chapter 2**

Draco woke up the next morning and groaned. His head was pounding, he was nauseous, and he felt a ball of regret form in his stomach as he remembered the events of last night. Why the bloody hell did he have to snog _Potter_ of all people. Sure, the man was attractive and they had gotten along well, but it was _Potter_. The man lived to shag these days, and he was quite obnoxious about it. Draco didn't mind a little no strings attached fun, but Harry Potter was not the one with whom to have it. He was toxic, and they had too much history. They had always had such passion between them, and it would be all too easy to get caught up in that passion if it was used for more positive experiences than beating each other to a pulp.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Draco sat up as slowly as possible. He felt his stomach revolt at the motion and made his way to the loo before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He moaned in agony as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. He leaned his head gently on his arm that was resting on the edge of the bowl. He never wanted to move again, but he didn't have any potions to help him within arm's reach, and his wand was tucked under his pillow. As he was doing all he could to muster enough energy to go retrieve the proper potions, he heard a knock on the door. He groaned. He had locked it and was too far away to open it without standing up.

"Draco?" he heard an all too familiar voice call quietly.

He sighed in frustration. Of course it was Potter. "What do you want, Potter?" he rasped, although even to his ears it sounded more like nonsensical grunts.

"Draco?" Potter repeated. "I've got potions for you, if you need them."

"Can't move," he whined.

Draco thought he heard Potter chuckle but couldn't be sure. "I'm going to unlock the door and come in. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," Draco croaked in response. He heard the muffled spell and then the door opening.

"Good morning, sunshine," Potter greeted, far too chipper for Draco's taste but wielding a couple of vials of potions.

"How are you so bloody cheerful?" Draco snapped, reaching for the potions nonetheless.

"I feel great. Apparently somebody can't hold their alcohol," Potter teased.

Draco drank the potions as quickly as his stomach would tolerate. Within seconds, the throbbing in his head dulled and the nausea faded away. "Thanks for that. There's no way you weren't hungover this morning after the amount you drank."

Potter shrugged. "I felt fine. Didn't even need to take any potions."

Draco gaped at him in disbelief. He thought about ranting about the unfairness of it all but decided that now that his hangover had mostly subsided he was too bloody exhausted. "Thanks again for the potions, Potter. I'm going back to bed. Hopefully to sleep until dinner."

Draco thought he saw a flicker of disappointment on Potter's face before he turned on his heel and collapsed back into bed.

After their encounter in the bathroom, Draco did his best to avoid one-on-one conversations with Potter. It worked fairly well, mostly because Potter didn't exactly go out of his way to seek him out. Until now, that is. Draco was sitting on one of the many large armchairs scattered around the 8th Year Common Room, sipping firewhisky, and surveying his drunken classmates at the latest unity party when Potter swaggered over and sat himself down on the arm of Draco's chair. "Hello, Draco," he greeted.

"Resorting to double-fisting, Potter?" Draco drawled in response, referring to the drink in each of Potter's hands.

Potter's lips twitched into a smile. "Actually, I thought you might need a refill," Potter responded, handing Draco one of the cups.

Draco couldn't hide the surprise he felt at that comment. "Well, thanks," he mumbled, taking the glass. He was just about out so he downed his current drink and took a sip of the one Potter had handed him. His head snapped up to look at Potter as the taste of the drink registered. It was definitely not the cheap firewhisky that he had been drinking all night, but instead tasted like his favorite elf-made wine that cost somewhere in the realm of 100 Galleons a bottle.

"Just a little something I picked up last time I was in France," Potter answered with a playful smile. "You mentioned it was your favorite at the last party so I thought I'd share."

Draco blinked, shocked that Potter remembered him mentioning the wine at all. "And you just happened to have picked some up last time you were in France? What a happy coincidence," Draco shot back with a skeptical look gracing his face.

Harry chuckled. "You caught me," he admitted, putting his hands up. "I may have convinced McGonagall to let me go on a day trip last weekend to pick some up. The perks of being the Boy Who Lived Twice, you know."

Draco rolled his eyes at the sentiment. As Potter talked, it triggered a vague memory of Hermione mentioning that the raven haired Gryffindor had disappeared with his latest conquest last weekend without informing the other members of the Trio. "To pick up some wine or to get into yet another bloke's pants?" he sneered, sounding much more affected by the lie than he meant to.

Potter had the decency to look at least slightly ashamed. "I could've taken Josh anywhere, and it would have had the same effect. I picked France so I could get some wine for you," he stated sounding sincere.

Draco cocked an eyebrow in question. "And why would you do that?" he asked, still obviously skeptical.

"Well you've obviously been avoiding me lately so I thought this might help," Potter responded sheepishly.

Draco was surprised yet again. He hadn't realized it bothered Potter, or that the other man had even noticed. "Well thank you," he said gratefully. He couldn't help but add, "I'm still not shagging you, Potter."

Potter threw his head back and laughed loudly. "We shall see about that, Malfoy, we shall see," he purred as he trailed his fingertips lightly down Draco's arm.

It was Draco's turn to laugh, shaking his head in amusement. He took another sip of his wine and sighed happily. He was dismayed to see that the cup was almost empty. "I won't say no to some more of that wine though," Draco teased.

Harry turned to look at him with a predatory look. "I would love to share some more with you, but the bottle is back up in the dorm…" he trailed off suggestively.

Draco shook his head in disbelief. "You are something else, Potter. I guess there's nothing wrong with sitting up there and talking. _Just_ talking," he answered, against his better judgement. He had already had a good amount of alcohol, however, so he wasn't completely in his right mind.

Potter chuckled once again as he stood up and offered Draco his hand to help him out of the chair. Draco let the other man pull him up and then lead him up the stairs, hands entwined the whole way. Potter led him to his bed and gestured for Draco to take a seat as the Gryffindor went to retrieve the wine from his trunk. Draco hesitated for a brief second before mentally shrugging and making himself comfortable. Potter appeared a moment later and refilled his cup before settling in next to Draco, close enough so that he could feel the other man's presence but just far enough away so that they weren't actually touching. "This wine really is bloody brilliant," Potter commented happily.

"'Bloody brilliant?' Really, Potter? You uncultured swine," Draco teased.

The pair continued to trade playful barbs as they drank their wine. Potter made sure to refill Draco's glass the minute it was empty. "Trying to get me drunk, Potter?" Draco asked with a smirk.

"Maybe," Potter responded with a wink.

Potter was in the middle of saying something about the party when Draco took another sip of his wine and couldn't stop a quiet moan of pleasure from escaping his lips. Potter stopped talking and turned to look at Draco. "When you make noises like that, how can I not do this?" he whispered fiercely. Draco was confused for half a second before Potter's lips crashed into his and the meaning of his words became clear.

Draco found himself moaning again, this time into Potter's mouth, as the dark haired man slid his tongue between Draco's lips and shifted his body weight so that he was hovering on top of the blond. He set his cup down, taking Draco's from his hand to do the same before bringing one hand up to tangle in Draco's hair and sliding a leg in between his slightly parted thighs. As Potter continued to explore Draco's mouth with his tongue he subtly lowered his body until he was laying completely on top of him. Potter groaned when Draco lightly nipped his bottom lip, breaking the Slytherin out of his pleasure-induced haze. He pulled back, effectively putting some space between the pair and breaking the kiss. Potter blinked at him, obviously confused at the abrupt stop to the kiss. "We shouldn't do this," Draco panted, attempting to catch his breath.

"Oh c'mon, Draco. You like me, I like you; why shouldn't we have a little fun?" Potter answered with a charming smile, ducking his head in an attempt to capture Draco's lips with his once again.

Draco felt his insides melt a little at the other man's words. Potter _fancied_ him? Did that change anything? Did Draco fancy him? He wasn't sure. The one thing that he was sure of in that moment is that Potter's lips pressed against his felt absolutely amazing and he didn't want to stop.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot. The Harry Potter universe and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately not me.

 **Warnings:** This will contain potentially distressing themes including PTSD, alcoholism, and suicide ideation. Slash and smut in future chapters.

 **Chapter 3**

The next morning Draco woke up slightly disoriented. He was in his own bed, but how had he gotten there? As he completely gained consciousness, a flood of memories hit him and he groaned. Draco and Potter had continued their passionate embrace for a few more minutes, so caught up in their kissing that they hadn't heard Weasley and Neville enter the room until it was too late. They may not have noticed them at all, if it hadn't been for Ron's indignant squawk. The pair had sprang apart at the noise, and Draco had leapt up to move to his own bed, avoiding eye contact with his roommates. He vaguely registered Weasley muttering something along the lines of "Really, mate? I know you're into blokes but did it have to be _Malfoy_ that I caught you with?" Draco and Weasley had made amends and were civil to each other, but no one would consider them friends by any stretch of the imagination.

Neville had then announced that he wasn't as tired as he thought and pointedly asked Draco if he wanted to accompany him back to the party. Draco had wanted to just say no and sleep off his embarrassment but figured that wouldn't go over well with his friend so he had agreed. Back down at the party, Neville had immediately dragged him over to Hermione and informed her of what had happened. The pair had demanded an explanation. After the last party, Hermione had been suspicious that something had happened between Draco and Potter. He had told her that there was a brief kiss but that was it. He had been very adamant that it meant nothing, and Draco had absolutely no interest in getting caught up with Potter.

Draco had made the mistake of repeating Potter's comment about them fancying each other to which Hermione responded sympathetically, "Oh Draco, you know that's just a line don't you?"

Draco had bristled at the comment but was able to admit that she was right. He also continued to insist that he didn't have feelings for Potter; it was just so easy to get swept up in the alcohol-fueled kisses. If there was one thing that drunk Draco loved, it was snogging someone, and that's all there was to it. Hermione and Neville hadn't been convinced and had given him a tag team lecture about staying away from the other man so he didn't get hurt. Draco had agreed, all the while still insisting it was unnecessary as he would have to have feelings for Potter in order to get hurt. Hermione had tutted sympathetically but didn't argue with him.

Draco threw his comforter over his face in an attempt to block out the outside world. He was embarrassed for so many reasons, and he just wanted to bury himself in bed and not face anyone until classes on Monday. It was currently Saturday morning so he had plenty of time to do just that.

His plans for the day were foiled, however, when Neville threw open the curtains around Draco's bed, letting in too much light for Draco's tastes. "Good morning," he greeted. "I know that you probably want to stay in bed all weekend, but that is not going to happen. Hermione has decided the three of us are going to take a trip to Hogsmeade today and study down by the lake tomorrow."

Draco opened his mouth to protest but closed it before he actually verbalized his dissent. It wouldn't matter. Once Hermione set her mind to something, there was no point in arguing. He groaned as he swung his legs over the side of his bed. "Tell her I'm up and getting in the shower. I'll be down in twenty minutes," he snapped as he gathered his clothes and headed towards the loo.

"You're a smart man, Malfoy," Neville answered with a chuckle before heading out the door to deliver the message to Hermione.

The weekend passed much more pleasantly than Draco had anticipated. As much as he had wanted to hide away, it turned out time with his new friends was a much better solution than wallowing. The trio had started Saturday by wandering around the bookstore in Hogsmeade and ended the day with a few drinks at the Three Broomsticks. The next day they had a lie in and then headed down to the lake to do some homework, despite Draco's protests that doing homework outside in November was a ridiculous idea. Once they had settled in and Hermione had cast several Warming Charms around the area, Draco had stopped whining and conceded that it was a peaceful spot to study. Hermione had shot him a self-satisfied grin but refrained from commenting.

Now it was Sunday evening, and Draco was sitting on his bed reading one of the new books he had purchased in Hogsmeade. He was so immersed in the story that he didn't hear one of his roommates enter the room, that is until he tripped and went crashing to the floor, cursing as he fell. Draco poked his head out of the curtains to see what the commotion was. "Potter? You okay?" he inquired, noticing the tuft of messy, black hair just barely visible around the corner of his neighbor's bed.

Potter groaned as he stood up. "Fine, fine," he responded, waving his hand to dismiss Draco's question.

This satisfied Draco so he turned back to his book. A moment later he felt his bed dip as someone else sat down on it. Draco didn't need to look up to know who it was. He sighed and put his book down. "What can I do for you, Potter?"

"You've been so busy all weekend. I've missed you," Potter answered with an exaggerated pout.

Draco regarded the other man suspiciously, confused by his actions. Potter leaned a bit closer, and that's when things clicked. He could smell the alcohol wafting off of his companion. "You're drunk," he intoned clearly unamused by the Gryffindor's antics.

Potter blinked owlishly at him. "I may have had a few drinks," he said innocently.

Draco snorted. "Please, you tripped when you first walked in, and you smell like a distillery. You're pissed."

"So what if I am?" Potter snapped back defiantly.

"It's Sunday night! We have classes tomorrow morning!" Draco reminded sternly.

Potter's pout was back before it morphed into an expression more akin to Draco's signature sneer. "Well I guess you aren't nearly as much fun as I thought you were." With those words, Potter hopped off of Draco's bed with much more coordination than Draco thought he should possess at this point and stormed out of the dorm, slamming the door as he went. Draco winced slightly at the harsh treatment but turned back to his book with a shrug. If Potter wanted to be bloody smashed on a Sunday night that was his prerogative, but Draco was not going to get involved. He certainly didn't care what Potter got up to in his spare time.

Draco was easily able to push the conversation to the back of his mind until approximately a half an hour later when the dorm door was opened once again. Thinking it was just one of his classmates coming to get ready for bed, he thought nothing of it. It wasn't until he began to hear the unmistakable sounds of heavy snogging that he slammed his book shut and went to go investigate. Sure enough, Potter was standing in the middle of their dorm room locked in a heated embrace with an admittedly very fit bloke. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Potter?" Draco demanded indignantly.

Potter slowly entangled himself from his...friend. "Aw, Draco, are you jealous?" he taunted with a smirk.

"No!" Draco snapped. "I just want to know what you think you're doing snogging some poor bloke in the middle of our room when you damn well knew I was in here. At least have the decency to move this into the privacy of your bed."

Knowing he wouldn't appreciate whatever Potter was going to say in response, he threw one last glare at the raven haired man and stomped out of the room, almost running into Neville on the stairs. "What's got your knickers in a twist?" Neville asked, picking up on Draco's foul mood right away.

"Potter," Draco growled without further explanation.

Neville sighed. "Now what?"

"He came and interrupted my reading earlier by sitting on my bed and pouting about missing me, obviously pissed out of his mind. Now, not even 45 minutes later, he bursts in snogging the life out of some 6th Year Ravenclaw bloke even though he knew I was in there. Bloody obnoxious git."

Neville shook his head slowly. "I thought you were going to stay away from him."

"I am! He's the one who keeps finding me!"

"Well, next time just tell him to go away, or better yet don't even acknowledge him at all."

Draco could feel his annoyance building. Like he could just ignore the arsehole. Last time he tried to ignore him the wanker had gone to France and bought his favorite wine. He obviously wasn't going to give up that easily. Plus Draco wasn't one to ignore people. He was too easy to get a reaction out of, whether it was positive or negative. He took a deep breath to avoid snapping at Neville. "I'm going for a walk," he announced as calmly as he could muster before turning on his heel and making his way to the exit of their common room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot. The Harry Potter universe and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately not me.

 **Warnings:** This will contain potentially distressing themes including PTSD, alcoholism, and suicide ideation. Slash and smut.

 **Chapter 4**

The next couple of weeks passed by fairly uneventfully. Most of the students were eagerly counting down until the Christmas holidays that were set to begin in a few days. Draco, on the other hand, was anything but excited. For the first time in his life he didn't have any plans for Christmas, and that fact depressed him more than he wanted to admit. After the war, many of the known Death Eaters were put on trial, and his parent were no exception. At the urging of Potter himself, the Ministry had pardoned anyone who was still Hogwarts aged, Draco included. Unsurprisingly, Lucius was sentenced to life in Azkaban for his involvement in both of Voldemort's reigns of terror, and his mother had been sentenced to 5 years. Her sentence would have been much longer if it hadn't been for Potter's insistence that he couldn't have defeated the bastard without her help. Fortunately, after the war it had been decided that Dementors were too extreme a punishment for many of the residents of the prison so his mother was spared this fate. She was in the newly established "minimum security" wing of the prison. This also meant she was allowed visitors, but she had begged Draco not to visit her. She had wanted to spare her son the despair of seeing her in prison. He knew that she was just trying to protect him, but it meant that he had no plans for the break.

Draco shook himself out of his thoughts when someone sat down in the seat across from him in the Great Hall. He blinked as his surroundings came back into focus and frowned when he realized it was Potter who had sat down. He hadn't spoken to the other man since the incident with the Ravenclaw. "Alright, Draco?" he inquired, cocking his head in question.

Draco nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, just lost in thought I guess."

"Care to share with the class?" Potter asked tentatively.

Draco sighed. "Guess I'm just a little down about the Christmas hols. A little hard to have a happy Christmas with both of your parents in prison," he replied with a sardonic smile.

"You don't have any other family to spend it with?"

"Not really," Draco answered.

"I know the feeling," Potter commiserated.

Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "What about the Weasleys?" Draco couldn't help but ask.

It was Potter's turn to smile sadly. "Not this year. Things are still a little awkward between Ginny and I, and the whole family is still grieving. I just figured it would be better for everyone involved if I just stayed here this year," he said with a shrug. "Did your family have any Christmas traditions?"

Draco couldn't help the smile that spread across his face as he nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes. You might not believe it by the way she acts in public, but my mother gets ridiculously excited for Christmas. She always decorates very elaborately: a huge tree with so many ornaments it's a miracle it can stand upright on its own, fairy lights everywhere, mistletoe on every doorway. If it's even remotely Christmasy, she puts it up. Other than that, it's usually a very relaxing affair with just my parents. We open presents Christmas morning with hot chocolate and marshmallows followed by a huge brunch. Then we usually lounge around until later in the evening when my parents host their annual ball. None of this happened last year of course because of our extra guests, but that was always our traditions."

Potter laughed openly, ignoring the last comment. "And what is so funny?" Draco demanded indignantly.

"I just can't picture Lucius Malfoy lounging around in his pj's drinking hot chocolate,"

Potter responded with a dazzling smile.

Draco refused to acknowledge the flip his stomach did at the smile. He smiled back reluctantly. "It was a sight reserved for family only."

Potter glanced at his watch and grimaced. "I'm about to be late. I'll see you later, Draco," he called as he rushed off to his first class, flashing Draco another brilliant smile on the way out.

Draco cursed inwardly as he felt his heart speed up. Why did the Gryffindor have to be so damned attractive? It would make it so much easier to keep his distance if he wasn't. He sighed to himself as he collected his belongings and also headed out the door to his first class.

Before Draco knew it, it was Christmas Eve, and Hogwarts was practically deserted. Potter was the only other 8th Year that had stayed behind for break, making the Common Room eerily quiet. Draco had just finished reading a new book and closed it with a yawn. Might as well go to bed, he thought to himself. It's not as if he had anything else to do. Frankly, he was beginning to go a little stir crazy. He hoped that once the actual holiday was passed he would feel better.

Draco entered his dorm and gathered all his belongings that he needed to get ready for bed. "Hey, Draco. Going to bed?" Potter greeted.

Draco nodded in response, still rummaging through his drawers.

"Would you, uh, mind if I cast a Silencing Spell around your bed once you're in it? I just

have something I need to do and wouldn't want to wake you," Potter asked with a sheepish grin.

Draco huffed in annoyance. It was bloody Christmas break, and the prat had still found someone to shag. "Whatever, Potter," he snapped as he pushed past the other man to get to the bathroom. He didn't care who Potter shagged, really he didn't. He would just prefer not to know if and when there was shagging happening in the bed two away from his own. That is a perfectly reasonable thing to be annoyed about and had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it was Potter that was doing the shagging. Or was he being shagged? Draco shook his head quickly to ignore those thoughts. He did not need to go down that road right now...or ever. He huffed to himself once again before snuggling into his bed. He drew the curtains closed and pulled his blanket over his head. A moment later, he heard the mumbled spell from Potter and before he knew it, he had fallen into a deep sleep.

The next morning Draco woke up slowly and rolled onto his back to stare at the canopy over his bed. He had no interest in getting out of bed only to run into Potter's latest conquest. He lay there debating if he had to get out of bed at all that day when he heard Potter call his name softly. "What the bloody hell do you want, Potter?" Draco snapped waspishly. He was in no mood to deal with the other man. It was Christmas, he was all alone, and he didn't want to deal with the Wanker That Wouldn't Fucking Die today.

"Well, it's Christmas morning. I thought maybe you'd like to get up and celebrate," Potter informed him tentatively, obviously weary after Draco's blatant hostility.

"There is nothing to celebrate this year," Draco replied sadly, frustrated by the tears that were beginning to well up behind his eyelids.

"Well that's where I think you're wrong," Potter told him playfully.

Draco sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"Just get up, Draco!" Potter urged enthusiastically.

Draco sighed once more but decided it wasn't worth his energy to argue with the stubborn prat. He sat up, pulled open his curtains, and was shocked by what he saw. The room looked as if the North Pole had exploded in it. There was a giant Christmas tree in one corner so covered with lights, garland, and ornaments that there was barely any actual tree visible. There were fairy lights lining every inch of the ceiling, wreaths hanging on all the walls, and a sprig of mistletoe hanging on the doorway. There was fake snow sprinkled all over the floor, and Potter had charmed it to continue to fall slowly around the room. Even his mother may have deemed it overly extravagant. Draco couldn't help but smile. Had Potter done all of this for him?

"Happy Christmas, Draco," Potter exclaimed smugly, obviously amused with Draco's flabbergasted expression. He then leaned down to place a chaste kiss on Draco's cheek.

Draco's eyes met Potter's in surprise. Potter chuckled and pointed to a spot above Draco's head. He tilted his head up to look at what Potter was pointing to and saw it was another sprig of mistletoe. Draco just shook his head with a chuckle. Leave it to Potter to not let him out of bed without giving him a kiss. Potter was grinning impishly at him, and Draco decided it was his turn to take control of the situation. He reached out his arm as quick as he could, grabbed Potter's shirt, and pulled him down on top of him. Draco then crushed his lips to the dark haired man's in a bruising kiss. Potter was frozen for a beat, presumably in shock, before he began kissing back in earnest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the plot. The Harry Potter universe and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling, unfortunately not me.

 **Warnings:** This will contain potentially distressing themes including PTSD, alcoholism, and suicide ideation. Slash and smut.

 **A/N:** This is the last chapter that's already written. It may be awhile before the next update. My life is crazy, and I'm not sure where this story is going to go next. Hope you're enjoying it so far!

 **Chapter 5**

Draco slid his tongue along the seam of Potter's mouth, asking permission to enter. Potter opened his mouth to let Draco's tongue slide in and caress his. Draco continued to explore the other man's mouth as Potter's hands began to slide along his sides. He slowly slid his hands underneath Draco's thin cotton shirt and pushed it up to reveal his pale chest. Draco gasped both at the touch on his bare skin and the cool air that hit it. Potter pulled back slightly in order to slip his shirt over his head. Once Draco's shirt was completely off, Potter moved back a little further to pull his shirt off as well. Draco felt his mouth go dry at the sight before him. The man on top of him was absolutely gorgeous. He didn't know when Potter had found time to go from a scrawny, almost malnourished 11 year old to the chiseled mass of muscle that he was now and still find time to defeat the Dark Lord, but he was very much okay with it.

Potter smirked at him, making Draco blush as he realized his face probably betrayed his thoughts. "You know," Potter whispered, his breath tickling Draco's ear and making him shiver. "There's hot chocolate waiting for us over by the tree."

"Shagging first then hot chocolate," Draco responded, thrusting his hips up to meet Potter's. He revelled in the fact that Potter's eyes darkened to almost completely black at his words.

Potter wasted no time in showing his agreement to the plan by leaning down until his entire body was lined up with Draco's and began sucking on the blond's pulse point. Draco moaned loudly when Potter nipped lightly at his neck and pushed the beginning of his erection up against Potter's. The Gryffindor groaned and shifted his hips to get more friction as he made his way down Draco's neck with his lips. Draco slid his hands down Potter's back, enjoying the feeling of his muscles flexing with every thrust, until they stopped to rest on Potter's firm arse. After a particularly enthusiastic thrust from Potter, he began to knead the flesh under his hands, making Potter gasp in surprise.

"Merlin, I want you," Potter panted against Draco's neck, and then their remaining clothes disappeared. Draco froze in shock, his lust addled mind not comprehending what had happened. "Handy spell, that."

That was all the explanation that Draco received before Potter's mouth was too preoccupied with doing delicious things to Draco's cock to explain further. Draco moaned and buried his hands into Potter's surprisingly soft hair. Potter's tongue was drawing random patterns on the underside of Draco's cock as the rest of his mouth moved up and down, using the perfect amount of suction. "Fuck, Potter," was the only thing that Draco seemed to be capable of saying at the present moment.

The amazing blow job continued for a few minutes until Draco felt something slick at his entrance. He yelped and pulled harshly on the hair that was still in his hair, yanking Potter off of him. "What the fuck?" Potter asked, clearly confused and very frustrated by the interruption.

"I am not bottoming for you, Potter," Draco informed him, eyebrow raised just daring Potter to argue with him.

And because he was Potter, he did. "Like hell you aren't," Potter responded with a smirk before attempting to go back to his task.

Draco shoved him roughly away with a glare. "I said no," Draco repeated stubbornly. In all honesty, he wasn't sure where this adamance had come from. He had bottomed before and enjoyed it immensely, but there was just something about the fact that it was Potter that made him refuse to do it now.

"I don't bottom," Potter answered.

Draco shrugged. "Then I guess we're not shagging," he challenged, slowly inching towards the edge of the bed. "You said there was hot chocolate?"

Potter's eyes widened in surprise at Draco's nonchalance. He bit his bottom lip in indecision, and Draco had to use all of the self control he possessed not to pounce on the raven haired man and suck on that same lip. "I've, uh, never done this before," Potter mumbled, a blush covering his face and neck.

Now it was Draco who was surprised. "What?" he asked intelligently.

"I've never done this before, okay?" Potter repeated sharply.

Draco couldn't wrap his head around the sentence. "You've never bottomed?"

"No!" Potter exclaimed in frustration. "Every other guy I've shagged has been so happy to be getting a piece of the bloody Boy Who Lived or whatever that it hasn't ever been an issue."

Draco smirked at his words. "You should know by now that I'm not one to kiss your arse because you're the Savior. Although, now that I think about it, I wouldn't mind tasting it," he purred seductively, crawling back onto the bed and positioned himself between Potter's legs. He grinned in satisfaction when he saw Potter shiver in anticipation. Draco's smirk widened thoroughly enjoying the other man's reaction. He shifted until he was in a comfortable position, Potter's puckered entrance directly in front of his face. He took a few deep breaths, making sure his exhales brushed against the sensitive flesh in front of him. Potter whimpered slightly, spreading his legs almost subconsciously. That was all the invitation that Draco needed. He flattened his tongue and swiped it over the ring of muscle. He continued to lick around it as Potter squirmed and panted above him. Draco glanced up and was pleasantly surprised to see Potter's emerald eyes, blown wide with lust, watching Draco's every move.

Draco continued his work and began gently prodding Potter's entrance with his tongue. He was able to push it in slightly past the ring of muscle but no much. "Merlin, you're so tight," he groaned, mouth still at Potter's entrance. The vibrations caused Potter's back to arch and a moan to escape his lips. Draco pulled away, replacing his tongue with a finger slicked with conjured lube. He began slowly exploring Potter's insides before adding another finger. He managed to brush over Potter's prostate, making him absolutely keen. "Have you ever been fingered?" Draco asked curiously, adding a third finger.

Potter shook his head, eyes squeezed shut as Draco continued to stretch him, hitting his prostate every so often. Draco cursed under his breath. "Bloody hell that's hot. I'm going to fuck you now, Potter," he growled, swinging the Gryffindor's legs onto his shoulders and leaning down to capture Potter's lips with his own. He slid his tongue into the other man's mouth and began to stroke his cock to keep him distracted as Draco began to push in as slowly as he could manage.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Draco. It's too much," Potter groaned, his brow furrowed in pain.

Draco paused his hips. He moved his lips from Potter's lips to his ear and began to nip gently. "Just relax. It's just a little more to go, and then I'll be all the way in," he whispered, running his tongue around the shell, making sure to continue his strokes on the man's erection. "Give me a few more minutes of discomfort, and I guarantee, I'll have you screaming in pleasure."

Potter whimpered in response. "Keep going." Draco slowly pushed in the rest of the way, peppering kisses on Potter's neck, and paused once again. After a moment of relative silence only broken by their pants, Potter thrust his hips up towards Draco's. "Move, please," he moaned as he repeated the action.

Draco withdrew almost completely before sliding back in, slowly building to a steady rhythm. After a couple of minutes to make sure that Potter was completely adjusted, he changed the angle with every thrust until Potter arched his back once again. "Merlin, Draco, right there," he yelled, wrapping his legs around Draco's back to help him thrust. Draco picked up the pace, feeling himself getting closer, and resumed his stroking of Potter's leaking erection. The man underneath him had been reduced to muttering a nonsensical string of words and sounds that Draco took to mean he was very close. After a particularly enthusiastic thrust, Draco felt Potter's muscles clench around his erection as he came all over his chest, screaming Draco's name.

Draco continued on for exactly four more thrusts before it was too much and he was cumming inside the dark haired man with a groaned, "Fuck, Potter." He slowly withdrew and lay down next to his lover.

"Now that you're cock's been up my arse, you might want to start calling me Harry," Potter teased, waving his hand to clean the two of them with a nonverbal charm.

Draco chuckled as he panted, attempting to catch his breath. "I suppose, but only if you bring me some of that hot chocolate you claim we have." Potter laughed and shook his head. He sat up and located his wand, muttering a quick _Accio._ A second later a tray of hot chocolate landed gently on the edge of the bed. "Finally decided to stop showing off?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow, gesturing to Potter's wand.

Potter gave him a sheepish look and a shrug. "I can control things better with my wand. If I would have tried this wandlessly, we'd have likely been covered in it." He reached forward to grab the tray and moved it closer. "Now use my given name and you can have a cup," he instructed with a smirk, picking up both cups and snuggling into Draco's side.

Draco looked down at the man in surprise. He didn't expect to cuddle afterwards, but he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. He lifted his arm and casually draped it around Potter's shoulders to pull him closer and make him more comfortable. "Happy Christmas...Harry."

Draco immediately received a mug of hot chocolate in his hand and a quick kiss to his chest in response. "Happy Christmas, Draco," he answered, snuggling his cheek further into Draco's chest with a content sigh.


End file.
